Jul 23, 2014

California city rejects child immigrant shelter

AMERRRRICA! AMERRRRRRICAAAA! GOD SHED HIS GRACE ON THEEEEEE!!!!

Jul 22, 2014

So someone has been forging checks/creating completely fake checks on the business general account, which is very bad, but not nearly as bad as if this happened on the client trust account, because… HO LEE FUCK.

The checks are signed by passive aggressive co-worker. It seems. Except, clearly not, because the checks are printed, and we don’t have access to any program in the office that prints checks AND she would just never do this, ever, in any situation that can be conceived. She is not involved.

We hand-write everything, and the checks are out of sequence by A LOT. They’re made out to one person, and signed by another. I mean, the red flags are everywhere and I’m shocked the bank didn’t catch it. (Just kidding, banks are the worst.)

PA co-worker is in England right now, and not really reachable, but it is CLEAR whoever did this stole her signature and that seems to be a level of sophistication that scares me a bit.

Anyway, the cops are coming tomorrow to interview all of us, and I will say without one second of hesitation that it is not the 4 main people in my office, nor the one other part-time person. 

I have no explanation as to what happened at this point. None. It seems too insidery to be random. But I have NO explanation. I’m shocked.

So tomorrow I get to have my first real interview by real police that will INTERVIEW me and I have nothing to fear, but… damn. I think I’m bring my good friend Ativan along.

gingerpermission:

tommisonfans:

I’m just going to go ahead and assume he’s watching Jurassic Park and not just, you know, freaking out randomly about Jeff Goldblum

Wait, there are people who DON’T randomly freak about Jeff Goldblum?

gingerpermission:

tommisonfans:

I’m just going to go ahead and assume he’s watching Jurassic Park and not just, you know, freaking out randomly about Jeff Goldblum

Wait, there are people who DON’T randomly freak about Jeff Goldblum?

(via chismosa-morenita)

tages / This is everything beautiful in the world
Blond again!

Blond again!

Jul 21, 2014

Israel finds Hamas are no longer amateur fighters

Well, this headline is misleading.

tages / cnn is the worst
  • Person: Hi, do you want pizza?
  • Person Nobody Likes: No. I'm being healthy. I'm not eating pizza because...
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: It looks so good, but the calories--
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: ...and the fat--
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: Here's a long explanation of my diet...
  • Everyone:
  • Person Nobody Likes: But I wish I could cheat LOL!
  • Everyone:
  • Person Nobody Likes: That stuff is so bad for you, you know? But you have fun!
  • Everyone who has left to go live their lives:
  • Person Nobody Likes: It's the gluten, you know? I don't know what that is, but it's soooooo baaaaaad.
  • Crickets who have come out because it's midnight now:
  • Person Nobody Likes: I cheated and ate an M&M yesterday! I spent an hour at the gym to make up for it but so worth it LOL.
  • Unfeeling universe:
  • Person Nobody Likes: Have you tried using cauliflower instead of bread to make a pizza?
  • Existential dread:
  • Person Nobody Likes: It tastes exactly the same, and it's sooooo much healthier.
  • Death itself:
  • Person Nobody Likes: I'm gonna go drink my soy smoothie now.
  • Person Nobody Likes: It's a small size.
  • Person Nobody Likes: Gotta watch my thighs!
  • Apocalypse, the end of all space and time as we know it, the fathomless void of nothingness:
  • Person Nobody Likes: BUT YOU ENJOY THAT PIZZA, FRIEND.

Jul 19, 2014

courtnog:

okay so if harry potter was born in 1980, and went to hogwarts in like 91, that means he was in his sixth year in 1996
do you think he knew about the spice girls? i mean.. i know he had shit going on with horcruxes that year but wannabe isn’t something that happens without you taking note of it

(via love-and-radiation)

CHATZY

Jul 17, 2014
Sunset

Sunset

Jason Biggs jokes about Malaysia Airlines tragedies in controversial tweet | Story | Wonderwall

Like we needed another reason to hate Jason Biggs, here’s at least 3 more!

people i like 
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